Dating someone who is sober can make you think. And yet, it's not much different than dating someone who isn't in recovery. Honestly, the same foundations of successful relationships, it takes compassion and good communication to date someone who is sober. You're new to this whole thing about dating a recovering alcoholic and you have a few questions.
The “1 year” rule is more of a guideline that advises against making major life changes during the first year of sobriety, including going out with someone or starting a new relationship. If you're dating or thinking about a recovering alcoholic, ask about their limits. All sober people have them, but they're not the same for everyone. Dating a recovering alcoholic means getting creative with a date night.
Approximately 30% of people who try to stop drinking will relapse within the first year. I've been there, as has everyone I know in a state of sobriety. That risk decreases with each year of sobriety. When a person has been sober for five years, the risk is less than 15%.
Dating a recovering alcoholic or someone in recovery should include the required awareness while considering the possibility of high-risk situations. Being emotionally volatile and being in progress makes a person in recovery exceptionally vulnerable to this. Everyone involved in the relationship should be aware of these triggers. That feeling can be a drug in and of itself, not found in sober life (and especially in sober relationships).
A cleaning fanatic and a more disheveled person have to make concessions in a shared living situation, and so will a sober and non-sober person. As most people in recovery will say, being sober involves living in a world that isn't sober, and a dating scene that is intrinsically linked to drinking alcohol to make things happen.
